Think back to when the two of you were dating one another. Did you have times when you had nothing to say to one another? Probably not.

What is stress? We hear the term 'stress' being thrown around so often, we may not realize that people mean different things when they're discussing stress. Just what is stress and what do people mean by the term?

What Is Stress?

First, and answer to the question, 'What is stress?' The term 'stress' refers to the response you have when facing circumstances that force you to act, change, or adjust in some way to maintain your footing, or to keep things balanced. (The circumstances themselves are known as 'stressors')

This stress response, also known as the fight-or-flight response, triggers many involuntary changes in your body, which give you an extra burst of energy so that you can fight or run away from perceived threats. This was a helpful response for us in earlier times, when most of the stresses we faced were physical--this burst of physical energy was needed to keep us alive in many cases. Nowadays, though, more and more of our threats are psychological--job stress, interpersonal conflict, etc.--and this response to stress, which can actually make us think less clearly, isn't always necessary, or even helpful.

Chronic Stress

When you face stressors often, and find that you have little control in these situations, you are at risk of experiencing chronic stress, which can affect your health in many negative ways. Having your stress response activated long-term, and not getting your body back to a state of relaxation can tax your system, leaving you over stimulated and depleted at the same time. Studies on health and stress have shown that stress can be a causal or contributing factor to virtually all major illnesses because chronic stress can lower immunity.

Stress Management Basics

No matter what the origin of stress is for you, there are some basic steps you can take to manage stress that you experience. I recommend that people approach stress from three angles:

• Quick Stress Relief
  While quick stress relievers aren't a complete stress management plan in themselves, they are an excellent first line of defense against the effects of chronic stress. This is because they can help you turn off your body's stress response and respond to the stressors you face from a calm (or calmer), more relaxed place. This helps you to more effectively deal with what is stress, and keep yourself healthier at the same time. Common strategies for quick stress relief include breathing exercises or use of humor.
• Address The Situation
  This step is a little more individualized, but stress management is an important key. As previously discussed, stressed, overwhelmed people aren't always in the best position to solve problems, so once you find yourself in a calmer place (from the above exercises), you can work on addressing what is stress in your life. Relationship stress? Try learning some healthy communication strategies or assertive communication skills. Job stress? Learn to find job satisfaction at your current job, or take steps toward moving to a new one. Money stress? You can handle that, too, with some stress management techniques and financial advice resources.

·         Long-Term Stress Management
Another important part of a stress management plan is having some regular activities in your life that replenish you and help you become more resilient in facing what is stress in your daily life. Rather than waiting until you're overwhelmed by stress, if you make certain stress-relieving activities a habit, you'll be less reactive to stressors when you experience them, and you'll be more able to handle them when you face them. Some of these habits include meditation, exercise and the regular practice of having fun.

Personal finance covers a wide variety of money topics including budgeting, expenses, debt, saving, retirement and insurance among others. Understanding how each of these topics work together and affect each other is important for laying the groundwork for a solid financial foundation for you and your family.

Budgeting

At the very basic level of personal finance you are dealing with a budget; you make money and then you spend that money. Even if you haven’t created a detailed and written budget you continue to budget on a daily basis. When you are faced with spending money on something you think about it and realize that by spending that money you will not be able to spend that same money on something else.

The problem that stems from not having a detailed budget are that we are faced with so many financial decisions it is nearly impossible to keep track of and remember everything. This lack of understanding can lead to overspending, debt problems or even the inability to adequately plan for your future.

When you create a budget you begin to see a clear picture of how much money you have, what you spend it on and how much, if any is left over. Once you can see the inflows and outflows of your money you can optimize your spending so that necessary items are sure to be covered while cutting back on wasteful spending that will allow you to save money.

Cutting Expenses

After you have created a budget you can begin to see where expenses may need to be reduced in order to meet your goals. For some people this means eating out less and for others it could mean getting rid of that extra vehicle. Whatever the case may be, everyone has an area or two where money can be saved by reducing some basic expenses.

Getting Out of Debt

Even after creating a sound budget and cutting unnecessary expenses you may still find yourself with lingering debt to get rid of. Financial leverage, or using credit and taking on debt by itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing but there are two kinds of debt: good debt and bad debt.

When you borrow money to purchase a home you are taking on a lot of debt, but lower interest rates and the purchase of an asset that can increase in value is an acceptable form of debt. On the other hand when you go to the mall and have yourself a shopping spree using your credit card with a 24% annual interest rate without paying it off in full right away is bad debt.

Getting out of debt doesn’t have to be difficult but it is essential in reaching a state of financial independence. The first thing to do when you find yourself in debt is to pay more than the minimum monthly payment. If you only pay the minimum each month it will often take decades to repay the debt and cost a small fortune in interest. Once you are paying more than the minimum you should look to lower your interest rate. High interest rates will make getting out from under the debt even more difficult.

Saving for Retirement

With fewer companies offering full pension plans and the uncertainty of Social Security it has become more important than ever to save and plan for your own retirement. Unfortunately many people feel that they simply don’t have enough money left over each month to save.

Retirement savings needs to become a priority instead of an afterthought. The Internal Revenue Service has made saving for retirement even more attractive with special tax-advantaged accounts such as employer 401(k) plans, individual retirement accounts and special retirement accounts for the self-employed. These allow for tax deductions, credits and even tax free earnings on retirement savings.

Whether you are just out of college and have 40 years until retirement or you plan on retiring next year it is never too late to plan and to maximize your retirement savings.

Insurance

So you have created a budget, cut expenses, eliminated your credit card debt and have begun to save for retirement, so you are all set, right? You have definitely come a long way but there is one more important aspect of your finances that you need to consider.

Insurance is important because you have worked hard to build a solid financial footing for you and your family so it needs to be protected. Accidents and disasters can and do happen and if you aren’t adequately insured it could leave you in financial ruin.

Some insurance policies are required and everyone should have these types of coverage but there are many other types of insurance policies that are probably not needed and you could be wasting precious dollars that could be put to work elsewhere. There is a fine line between having enough insurance and being over-insured.

All married couples have arguments, or rather fights. How you fight is the key to whether or not you will have a successful, long term marriage. Fighting fairly with respect for one another is a critical marital skill that you must learn.

The way you fight can often tell psychologists more than what you fight about. If done correctly, conflict and healthy, fair fighting, can strengthen your marriage.

Here's How:

1. Don't let little things that bother you build up until one of you explodes the issue into a large fight. That's not fighting fair in your marriage.
2. If you are angry about something and don't try to talk about it with your spouse within 48 hours, let it go. Otherwise, you are not fighting fair.
3. If your spouse doesn't want to discuss the matter, set an appointment within the next 24 hours to have your fair fight.
4. Fighting fair means you know what the issue is. Then, both of you stick to the subject.
5. Keep your fight between the two of you. Don't bring in third parties like your mother-in-law, his best friend, or your children.
6. Fighting fair means you don't hit below the belt. Respect your spouse.
7. Fighting fair means you don't bring up past history.
8. Fighting fair means no name calling. Even endearing terms and pet names can be hurtful when you are using a sarcastic tone.
9. Be careful how you use humor. Laughter is good, but teasing can be misinterpreted and can be hurtful.
10. Listen to one another fully while you fight. This includes watching body language. Look at one another while you speak.
11. Don't interrupt during your fight.
12. Fighting fair means you don't blame one another or make accusations.
13. Try to use 'I' sentences instead of 'you' sentences.
14. If the two of you are not extremely angry, try to hold hands while talking during your fight.
15. Be open to asking for forgiveness and being willing to forgive.

Tips:

1. Even though it may be hard to forgive your spouse, not forgiving can cause more harm both emotionally and physically to yourself and to your marriage. Holding a grudge is letting someone else live in your head rent free.
2. Remember to not fight to win, but to fight for your relationship.
3. Conflict is not the problem. All married couples have disagreements. It's not knowing how to effectively argue that creates difficulty in a marriage.
4. Don't use the words "never" and "always" in your statements to one another.
5. Do not yell. Do not scream. Do not talk in a threatening tone.

What You Need:

• Conflict management skills
• A sense of fairness
• Putting your marriage first
• Willingness to forgive
• Ability to listen
• Respect for one another
• Awareness of when to apologize